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EXPERIENCE |
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12 Step Drug and Alcohol Abstinence Support Groups are gatherings of men and women who meet to support each other in staying clean and sober. We have lots of experience about what works and what doesn’t. We pass it on to help newcomers and to remind ourselves.
1. ABSTAIN FROM ALL DRUGS. Many of us didn’t believe this at first, but our experience has proved it true time after time. Even doctor prescribed medication must be looked at carefully. Giving up our "problem drug" while hanging onto others leads to trouble. We must stay clear of all of them, including alcohol.
2. CUT LOOSE THE OLD FRIENDS. If we hang around drinkers and users, sooner or later we will drink or use. Many of us thought friends who wouldn’t offer us drugs or who promised not to get loaded in front of us were okay. It never worked. If you’re serious about sobriety, cut them loose.
3. GET AS MUCH SUPPORT AS POSSIBLE. You can’t recover by paying attention to your addiction two hours a week. In early sobriety, you may need some kind of clean and sober contact every day. Go to meetings, call people, come to social activities, check out A.A. and N.A., drop in and visit. If you don’t invest as much time and energy staying straight as you did getting drunk and loaded, you won’t make it.
4. LISTEN A LOT; TALK ONLY A LITTLE. Many of us thought getting well meant talking a lot about our problems. We found out that what we needed to do was to learn how to live sober from people who were doing it. We did this by listening to how they handled things like temptations to use, boredom and anxiety, legal and financial and family problems, etc. We have plenty of chances to talk, but we find we learn more by listening to others that by listening to ourselves.
5. GET SOME BALANCE IN YOUR LIFE. Meetings are very important, but their purpose is to teach you how to stay sober outside of meetings. Now that you’re sober, Get a Life! Get involved in social activities, go to A.A. or N.A. meetings or to a clean and sober dance, involved your loved ones if possible. you don’t need to do it all the first week, but ask about it, talk about it, bring it up at meetings. In the long run, if you don’t enjoy sobriety you probably won’t fight to hold onto it.
6. GET SOME PHONE NUMBERS. Call group members between meetings. Get used to making these people part of you life so you will feel comfortable asking for help. If you’ve already talked to someone on the phone a dozen times, you’re more likely to call for support when you’re tempted to drink or use.
7. TREAT MEETINGS AS IF THEY WERE IMPORTANT (BECAUSE THEY ARE!) Meetings can only do what they are supposed to in an atmosphere of respect, order, and caring support. When people keep going in and out of the room or whispering to their neighbors, it makes things difficult. We need to show each speaker that what they are saying is important. We need to cut down on interruptions; how about getting coffee for your neighbors as well as yourself and saving them the trip? Feedback is fine, but it ought to be a short response to whomever is talking, not your third speech of the evening. And waiting until two minutes before the end of the meeting and then talking for fifteen minutes is not cool. Speak earlier or wait until the next meeting.
8. WHAT IS SAID IN THE GROUP SHOULD STAY IN THE GROUP. We need to be able to trust the group so we can use the group. And we need to take care of each other because that’s the only way it works. That means that Confidentiality is absolute. Gossip in all its forms is deadly to our group and to our sobriety.
9. PITCH IN. The members of the group are called Participants. We need to participate. We stay straight by helping each other, not by waiting for others to meet our needs. From running groups to arranging social activities to working with newcomers to cleaning up after meetings, there’s plenty that needs to be done. Find out how you can help. The sobriety you improve will be your own.
10. BEWARE OF MAKING MAJOR CHANGES. In early sobriety, we are on an emotional roller coaster and our judgment is still foggy. Many of us have rushed into relationships, gotten divorced, changed jobs, quit school, or made other big changes that seemed right at the time----only to find out later that our hasty decisions had been bad ones. In our first year clean and sober, we have found it best not to make any big life adjustments if at all possible. If we can’t avoid them, we make them only after careful consultation with sober friends who know us well.
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